Ex-Football Star… as the New Ken Doll?

This lockout can’t end any sooner.

Until then, we are stuck with headlines such as “Ex-Cyclone Sack Master is the Face of the New ‘Ken.‘”


In any event, ex-Cyclone and Iowa state defenseman Kurtis Taylor will be on the shelves of Toys-R-Us this Christmas.  From the New York Times:

“Spotlighting Ken comes after the toy maker’s recent update of Barbie, who turns 52 this year, as a fashion plate with high-style outfits. The eight contestants in the “Genuine Ken” series competed in an array of “Bachelorette”-style challenges to determine who had the ideal qualities to fill Ken’s customary role as the “ultimate boyfriend for every occasion.”

His Audition tape is hands-down the strangest thing I will ever post relevant to football in the history of this blog:

Hey laaaadies!  He wants to sweep you off your feet, and be in your 6 year old’s toybox. Yikes.  That, hands down, will be the creepiest sentence I will ever type in the history of this blog.

Back to The Times:

“The redesigned Ken doll will resemble the contest winner, Kurtis Taylor, a 25-year-old former defensive lineman for Iowa State, who won over the judges in the romantic gesture category.”

“With $500 to buy gifts, [Taylor] edged out his rivals when he won the romantic category by giving each judge a penny and donating the remaining money to the Make a Wish Foundation.”

Will Ken come with a football helmet?  Will the arm of the doll be spring-loaded so it can toss footballs?  Will there be an explosion of adult-themed “sack” Barbie websites?  And does this mean that Cyclone and Iowa State fans are now going to be Barbie collectors?


Let’s get this NFL thing going again.


About scottymcss

Homeschooler. Freelancer.
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