I’m just going to launch straight into a monologue for this one… Well, I guess Viagara works. This couple may have (finally) discovered the perfect formula for marriage: I’m sure they’d love to share it with us too, if they could remember it. Good news: the reception is open bar. Bad news: it’s gin-n-prunes only. Minus the gin. Mmmmm!

(Pause for prompted laughter.)

Ah, the octogenarian honeymoon, that must be like “50 Shades of Really, Really Gray.” You know, I’m sure they were divorced for 48 years for good reason, just don’t expect them to remember it, which is probably a good thing. Good lord, the best man is going to have 85 years worth of material on this poor guy (but his jokes will probably just revolve around child proof lids on medicine bottles anyway). In case you’re wondering, the gift registry is located at Victoria’s Secret. No, it’s actually just cemetery plots dot com. I wonder what pressured these guys back to the altar. Chances are it wasn’t peer pressure. I dare the wedding DJ to play the wedding classic, “Another One Bites the Dust.” Tip to the maids of honor: might want to stand reaaaally close for the bouquet toss. I wonder if these guys still have the stamina to make it through the ceremony – I guess it “Depends.” Imagine their post-marriage arguments: “What?” “What..?” “What?!?” “Whaaat?”

Jokes aside, this is beautiful, romantic, and a lesson to all of us whipper-snappers: Love is complicated, it is lasting, and it is worth a lifetime of waiting.

For more, head on over to Buffalo Sabres Nation.

It’s not just a holiday, it’s also Sabres BINGO day – you now have TWO reasons to roll your eyes. Whoopee!*

The Sabres will be taking on their long time late night partner, the New Jersey Devils, in what can only be expected to be a snoozefest of epic defensive proportions. Perhaps a goal may be scored in this game, perhaps even two. But again, for my single friends out there, at least that’s some kind of scoring.

Love is in the air, and there May be smooches.

Today’s winner receives a free video recording of yourself to be included in next-season’s “live” Kiss-Cam at the FN’ Center. Unless you’re single – in that case, you get nothing. Such is the depressing nature of this romantic day day of begrudging fornication.

Good luck!

(As always, click to re-size.)

Oh, and in case you’re oddly curious, here’s a list of NHLers born on November 14th.

Go Sabres.

*See what I did there?

And hey – if you suck at holidays and forgot/don’t care to buy a gift for your loved one, why not head on over to Hockey Heaven and buy a little somethin’ somethin’ for yourself?

In case you missed it, Phil over at “Black & Blue & Gold” posted a list of Sabres prospects and players that are now on the social media service. Fans have always been anxious to follow their favorite players on Twitter, and have been burned by fake accounts before.

This time, Kevin Snow and the Sabres’ New Media Staff are working on verifying the accounts.

To read more, click here.

Ales Kotalik’s $3 million cap hit doesn’t bode well for a guy determined to make the Buffalo’s opening night roster. His plummet in production over the last few seasons with Edmonton, New York (Rangers), and Calgary (so much for a no-trade clause) is downright foreboding. What’s more, Ales skates on the right side, and will be competing with a group of already entrenched right wingers in Pominville, Stafford, Boyes, and Kaleta.

Still, if there is one thing that the Pegula Era has taught us, it is that the salary of a player doesn’t matter. If he can be effective, and if he can fit under the salary cap, he’ll stick. And AlKo’s stick schtick might help him do just that.

To read more, click here.

Well, we consulted The Hockey News, Calgary blogs, and of course, the infamous “HF Boards” to find out.

To read more, click here.

MacIntyre will be in Rochester for the 2011-12 season (barring any injuries at HSBC), but just how good is this guy? To get more info on him, we headed straight over to The “The Goalie Guild,” an information and scouting destination for all things netminder related. Justin Goldman, member of the Pro Hockey Writers Association and contributor to NHL.com, is one of the best minds to pick when it comes to what to expect from a anyone wearing a goaltender’s mask.

Goldman gave us a full profile on MacIntyre, and you’re going to like what he had to say.

For more, click here.

Steal.

We’ve talked about his stats and achievements already, but we thought it would be great to know more about one of Hockey Heaven’s newest and most promising draft picks. Well, Daniel was quick to agree to an interview with us, a small but down to earth kind of gesture that makes me think he’ll be a great fit in the City of Good Neighbors.

To read what he had to say, click here.

We’re running a business now here in Buffalo, and our business goal is the Stanley Cup. Anything or anyone that gets in the way of that better watch out, because we’re all becoming a little bossy when it comes down to the employees that wear Blue and Gold sweaters.

Things are getting ugly.

To read more, click here.

There’s your banner for the 300 level.

Fans in Buffalo were pleased and shocked when the Sabres traded for the rights to negotiate with and then signed Christian Ehrhoff – pleased because a player of his caliber decided to come to Buffalo, and shocked because a player of his caliber decided to come to Buffalo. He didn’t come cheap. From the Vancouver Sun:

To read more, click here.