85 Years of Happiness, Unhappiness, and then Happiness Again

I absolutely love this. A couple in Buffalo has decided to remarry at 85 years of age, after 48 years of divorce.

I’m just going to launch straight into a monologue for this one… Well, I guess Viagara works. This couple may have (finally) discovered the perfect formula for marriage: I’m sure they’d love to share it with us too, if they could remember it. Good news: the reception is open bar. Bad news: it’s gin-n-prunes only. Minus the gin. Mmmmm!

(Pause for prompted laughter.)

Ah, the octogenarian honeymoon, that must be like “50 Shades of Really, Really Gray.” You know, I’m sure they were divorced for 48 years for good reason, just don’t expect them to remember it, which is probably a good thing. Good lord, the best man is going to have 85 years worth of material on this poor guy (but his jokes will probably just revolve around child proof lids on medicine bottles anyway). In case you’re wondering, the gift registry is located at Victoria’s Secret. No, it’s actually just cemetery plots dot com. I wonder what pressured these guys back to the altar. Chances are it wasn’t peer pressure. I dare the wedding DJ to play the wedding classic, “Another One Bites the Dust.” Tip to the maids of honor: might want to stand reaaaally close for the bouquet toss. I wonder if these guys still have the stamina to make it through the ceremony – I guess it “Depends.” Imagine their post-marriage arguments: “What?” “What..?” “What?!?” “Whaaat?”

Jokes aside, this is beautiful, romantic, and a lesson to all of us whipper-snappers: Love is complicated, it is lasting, and it is worth a lifetime of waiting.

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